bad luck. 


As the title of my blog suggests I think. A LOT. so what better place than here to spill the contents of my brain?

Right now, I am going through another one of these rough patches of mine. It’s either I have bad luck or I am just cursed. I’m starting to believe it’s the latter. I can recall a time when everything was going well for me, I had little to no worries and life was good. Apart from the fact that I was never allowed to go out but things could have been worse.

I remember the exact point when my life, through my own eyes, started to go down hill and that’s when I started college. I had left where I had attended secondary school and was made to go to an independent sixth form basically because my father had seen the previous Oxbridge students this sixth form college had produced and thought it would make one out of me. Honestly, I do regret leaving my secondary school but hey, the way it works in my household, I had no say. Although my younger siblings are breaking these boundaries as I look on thinking I could never do the things they get away with or say the things they say sometimes.

But boy, I did nothing but struggle in college. 5 AS Levels which was probably a big mistake in hindsight, no social life whatsoever, no one to properly talk to because when I tried they didn’t really understand along with the social pressure of trying to fit in. All these among other things all added up to the beginning of feeling depressed. Like why me? I know my life is nowhere near as bad as some but it still sucks, you know?

Then today, it’s like the closer I get to  finishing this degree, the worse it gets. The bad luck is just flowing in surplus. I had been moping about all day, stress eating my way through junk food and people tried to help but it just didn’t work. I start to think if it’s because I complain too much of the situation I’m in as if I am ungrateful when there are people doing the exact same course and they’re just getting on with it. Or is it something else?

I’ve realised that I go through a cycle where there is always a trigger. It’s either something happens to me, I listen to a song that reminds me of something or someone innocently says something which sets me back off into dark territory.  I then log out of my social media accounts or delete the apps (all except WordPress, of course) from my phone and just use that time to think. Then just when I seem to come out of it, I’m hit with anther trigger. I will laugh, joke and smile as much as the next man even though I’m dying inside. I want to be wholly happy but the way life is panning out…pfft.

I’m just praying that this is a phase that I will come out of because its actually grim. I know I’m not meant to be or think like this, it’s just not ME. If anyone has any advice to help break out of this, I’d love that. You can leave it in the comments below and that’s where this thought ends.


Thoughts of a Thinkaholic xo


Two posts in two days, well dang girl. Do yo’ thang 😂 *wipes forehead*


Posting with a smile 

I’m writing this post with a smile on my face. Why? Because it was lovely seeing my fellow final year students come together.
On Monday the 6th February 2017, my Chemical and Process Engineering degree class came together to present posters on a specific subject. We were all given the dress code of ‘smart’ and let me tell you, it was absolutely delightful seeing my fellow students scrub up for this day, even those who come looking like scrubs to normal lectures (myself included). Seeing the men looking handsome in their suits and the FEW ladies all dolled up, it almost brought a tear to my eye, I was that happy.

Students and lecturers alike came to look at our posters and ask questions even though we were getting graded on our poster and presentation skills.

It was an eventful day and it is then that it dawned on me that I actually have less than 4 months left and I’ll be free from the shackles of education ( I’ll write about this in another post). It was a very bittersweet moment because my life has literally been a struggle and then some during this degree with the devil trying to test me but I could not let him succeed.

Anyways that’s a story for another day. I just wanted to note this happy time down while I can because God knows they don’t last forever.

Thoughts of a Thinkaholic xo